I’ve been traveling a lot lately. One would say I’m manic and going overboard with the travel. One would probably be right. The issue is that when I’m not traveling, I’m planning travel, and I’m spiraling. I feel like I need to be busy all the time or else my brain goes into a state of free fall.
My latest adventure took me to the land of New Mexico where I toured Taos Pueblo and Santa Fe. It was a great trip, filled with walking, great food, trains, music, art, and alcohol. Probably too much alcohol. Definitely too much alcohol. I’m don’t generally overindulge in drinking, but I let peer pressure and the over-abundance of tequila in the area get to me.
Overall the trip was amazing and it did help me forget about the all the things that go on in my head. It took about a week after getting back before the vacation after-glow wore off and I started to plummet.
What sucks is, I don’t know where the plummet came from. I was doing great. Work is great, therapy is going great, I’ve had tons of time with my friends and family lately. So, I wasn’t expecting it. That’s what depression does; comes at you when you least expect it and ruins your day/week/year. Some wonderful times, it passes quickly, and others it camps out, refusing to leave for extended periods of time. How it decides is a mystery to me.
What isn’t a mystery is when this started. It’s been eating away at my brain since I was a small child. I suppose that is what people really want to hear about; the traumas that caused my 9 suicide attempts. Perhaps that’s coming soon.
My next adventure starts tomorrow. Until next time, you are loved! Keep going!